7 Signs It’s Time To Call It Quits
“How do I know if I should get a divorce?” is one of the most common questions I get. It makes sense — statistically, 40–50% of marriages end in divorce.
The answer to this question isn’t usually clean-cut. All marriages have their rough spots, some of them can be pretty big rough spots, but they’re not usually permanent. Fortunately, with the help of a professional, couples are often able to work through their challenges and go on to live their happily-ever-afters.
But, sometimes the bump isn’t temporary, and sometimes the bump is too egregious to ignore. When you’ve been living unhappily or even in a toxic environment for too long, it’s time to put yourself first and think about what you really need to honour yourself and live your best life. While each person has their own ‘deal-breakers’, there are some common themes that denote that ending the marriage may be the best course of action.
The following list (with the exception of physical abuse) is not necessarily indicative that the marriage needs to end. Usually, it means that you and your spouse have some work to do.
Let’s dive in.
1. Physical Abuse
I’d like to get the worse out of the way. For no reason whatsoever should anyone put their hands on you. There is no excuse for this kind of behaviour, and it shouldn’t be tolerated no matter what.
2. Substance Abuse
Whether or not you should leave your marriage due to a partner’s substance abuse largely depends on the extent of their addiction and if they are willing to genuinely participate in rehabilitation.
3. Repeat Cheating
If someone is repeatedly hurting you, they either think they can get away with it, or they do not care about the effects of their actions.
4. No Common Ground/Falling Out Of Love
The signs of this are that you argue over everything, can’t work together on anything, and you dread sharing your opinions with one another. Can this be worked on? Definitely, but every case is different.
5. You Live Like A Single Person
I’ll start by saying that there is nothing wrong with hanging out with your friends or enjoying solo time, but if this becomes your preferred activity, then that’s a big red flag.
6. No Sex
Sex isn’t everything to a relationship, but without it, you’re no different than roomies. The only excuse for both of you not to have sex is for health reasons, either physical or mental. Outside of that, there is no reason why you should go months without sex.
7. You Threaten Divorce
If you find yourself or your partner threatening divorce every time you two argue, it’s a sign of a bigger problem at play. The thought of divorce shouldn’t be coming to your mind whenever you quarrel.
If any of these sounds familiar to your present circumstances, then its time to urgently get professional help before you decide to end your marriage. These signs do not necessarily mean that your marriage is irredeemable. More often, these signs (with the aforementioned exclusion of physical abuse) mean that you and/or your spouse have something to work on. Or, maybe you just need a fresh perspective or to change some simple behaviours. Either way, help is available.